On Books and Blogs

Composing a title for my blog was very similar to composing a title for a newspaper article: very hard. Journalism is stupid. That's what I decided second semester freshman year when I got a D on an article for misprinting "Beethoven" instead of "Mozart". Without the mistake, it would have been a C--which is still failing. So, I dropped the class. How is one supposed to sum up an entire something with a simple phrase? I can make a catchy phrase, sure. But I can't represent adequately. Therefore, I'm counting on readers to take the blog into consideration as a whole, rather than a direct interpretation of a silly little title with a cliche little catch phrase. What do you take me for, a politician?

Since in this half hour I've somewhat come to terms with the extraordinary vanity involved with a) blogging, and more so b) considering myself to be a mermaid, I am semi-embarrassed to announce that I am unable to decide upon a single theme. Be ready to encounter topics such as mermaids (duh), books, Weight Watchers, friends, love, Penguins hockey, and scrap-booking. SPOILER: Sometimes I am an old, old woman, sometimes a straight up dude.



A quick word on books:

Books are an all-consuming activity (for me). Comparable to Pinocchio inside the whale. The book is the whale, I am Pinocchio. The book is all-consuming--yum! Several weeks ago, I began a book entitled So Many Books, So Little Time: A Year of Passionate Reading by Sara Nelson. The author molds a book diary into a hard-stretched metahphor--ick. I would recommend the book in that Nelson's experiences with books are heartwarmingly familiar; however, in one of her earlier chapters she discusses the--what I always felt was a--sin of being unable to let the book take you all the way through to the other cover. Well, Ms. Nelson, I put your book down on page seventy-something, and I'm using your advice as an excuse to not go back. But what is important about Nelson's book is that she freely admits that books are more than just boring words on yellowing pages meant to punish us in school. Books are highly addictive worlds. Books ensnare, and they dominate my emotions. I could be a perfect doll one moment, and then Harry buries Dobby and I won't talk to you for the rest of the week.

Like all girls raised in the 1990s, I have a princess problem. An Ariel, Jasmine princess problem. I love princesses and so does America. Just look at all that Royal Wedding nonsense. Did we not declare our independence? But, I love it. And so do you. And what I love more than cartoon Disney princess is the historical, real deal--give or take some fiction! Phillipa Gregory is one of the best authors in this department. She specializes in English monarchies and oh, does she write some delicious Tudor historical fiction. Though I read The Red Queen before The White Queen, which was very out of order and uncharacteristic of me, the White Queen had my heart. It's all about beautiful and ambitious women (as most of Gregory's books are). Elizabeth Woodville is the most elegant, witchy, and Mother Goddess-inspired queen I've ever encountered. Besides in The Mists of Avalon, I never thought I'd read about a woman so driven, in control, and respected. And the best part is: the book is secretly all about mermaids. Elizabeth and her mother are relatives of Melusina. Come to think of it, I probably am too.

Moral here: You really ought to read anything by Phillipa Gregory. She wrote several novels about the wives of the infamous Henry VIII, including The Constant Princess about Catherine of Aragon. It's pure gold, I tell you. She also wrote The Other Boelyn Girl, which was not my favorite and a much, much worse movie. Ugh, Natalie Portman. Double ugh Scarlett Johanssen.


For a mind-boggling article on the American princess problem, see "What's Wrong with Cinderella" by Peggy Orenstein.